Inside the Mind of the Deep, Dark Blonde Butterfly

For The Love of God, Montressor!

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:15:03 GMT

A few months back, my cousin visited me here in North Carolina. He didn't come to visit me in particular, he was on a road trip with a buddy of his and when they came rolling through town, he went "Oh hay thar! I should call Arie!". It was nice to see him - he's a whole new person and blood of my blood and all.. But it was strange for me to realize I hadn't clapped eyes on him in, quite literally, years. Two, Three, Four years? A long time when you realize we're hardly more than teenagers.

We talked about an awful lot of things... and he told me that my family doesn't talk about me. Ever. He and I exchange IMs or e-mails now and then and he'll mention to them "So I heard from Arie..." and they'll smile tightly and change the subject. If he tries to ask them about who I am and where I came from, they refuse to answer.

I am my family's deep dark secret. The dark stain on the honour of the clan.

I know this. For the most part I'm okay with it. Most of my mother's family is dead now and I wouldn't recognize any of the living ones if I saw them. And my father's family was never going to be close to me - they didn't know I existed until I was, like, eight. (Seriously. I was totally his secret shame) And for the most part, I'm cool! I'm okay! I'm good! I spend a lot of time working on my life and trying to be a person I can live with, in a life worth living in... without thinking about what other people want from me or of me. For the most part, I succeed.

But the fact that they don't talk about me... Damn. I don't know why, but it hurts. So that months later I'm sitting here on my night off, staring at my feet and getting all weepy over it.

Now Trent who is a wonderful, sweet man comes from a large and loving family. He spent ages telling me stories of all of his people, his life growing up, and telling me that all of them would love me as he loves me because, after all, they're his family and I'm the woman he intends to spend the rest of his life with. Of -course- they will love me. I didn't believe him because I'm made of sterner, more jaded stuff than he is. "I reject your family," he said. "And substitute my own." It was really very sweet.

It's only a pity that his parents don't -like- me.

Really, I don't blame them. They're a good, well-to-do, well-behaved Southern Baptist family. His father's a doctor and a minister's son. His mother's.. I dunno. Ruler of her clan. They sent their children to deportment classes, raised them carefully, and want the very best for their perfect, beautiful, little children.

So of course, Trent brings home a drug addict's daughter. I have no religious leanings and even if I did I'd be Jewish. My family is a tattered wreck, I'm a sexually promiscuous college drop-out with no prospects and nothing to my name. They're prohibitionists and I'm a -bartender-. For the love of god, montressor!

But still. It sucks.

Bones?

Hm, hm.

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:19:34 GMT

Trent and I went to see wall-e the other day. We made a pleasant evening of it - when we arrived we found out the showtimes we'd gotten for the movie wasn't right so we had 50 minutes to kill. We went wandering and almost immediately my darling steered me into a chocolatier. We ooohed and aahed for a bit and purchased a piece of sugar free toffee (when did I start preferring diabetic candy, really? It does taste better though) a couple of slightly too sweet coconut haystacks and the delicious prize of the day - a praline. The Chocolatier warned me that it wasn't New Orleans praline, it was a bit harder with a more caramel texture. I coo'd my delight and insisted on having one. We walked down the street, sharing bites of our treats, admiring all the pretty facades. Trent paused us on the step of a fountain to kiss the caramel from the corner of my mouth when we spied a bookstore with a large display of Newly Released books by Stephanie Meyer, the writer of the Twilight series. Now I don't want to say much about the books, everyone has their own opinion. But I will say I really -like- the world and metaphysics she wrote and I can't stand most of her characters. I find myself wanting to wring Bella's neck through out most of the books. The close to the series is coming out next month though and we'll be in line to buy it because we both want to know What Finally Happens. So our hopes were high when we saw the advertisement and we hopped in to buy ourselves a copy - it turned out to be a completely different book and not in her vampire series at all. It's thus forth an interesting world but, again, the main character should probably be named Mary Sue. But still I'm reading it cover to cover and very quickly.

In any case, we skipped back in the theater and ordered ourselves the traditional large soda and modest bag of popcorn and then we skipped into the room and settled ourselves down to watch the movie. I'm a pretty set in my ways homebody so going out to watch a movie is a bit of an Event. I'll only do it a couple times a year. Four would be very frequent. And I'd been looking forward to wall-e for awhile now. I expected it to be an adorable, heart-warming romp across the universe. The pre-movie sketch warmed us up, got us giggling and nostalgic for the old bugs bunny...

And then the opening shots of the movie began to flit across the screen and the tears began to trickle down my cheeks. The art is breath-takingly beautiful but the scene is so very, very bleak... The tiny, painfully lonely and obvious sentient creature winds it's way across an abandoned and desolate world, cannibalizing its fallen fellows to keep itself alive and slowly, steady building the same skyscraper over and over again all across the world. And it combs the planet for bits and pieces of discarded signs of human life and culture and hoards them and treasures them in his little home.

I cried quietly through the whole movie. Oh, the creators tossed him quite a bit of physical comedy that only made me sob harder... and the way they hammered us upside the head with their Message detracted from the beauty and pain of the picture (they really would've been better served with subtlety. It was the little things in the background that were getting me, not the storyline itself)... They slapped a happy ending on at the very end which was all the more upsetting because you simply couldn't repopulate the Earth when there's a single plant left. I mean... One species. You don't grow a complex ego system or get all the fish and turtles and things from that.

On the other hand, the rest of the audience seemed to enjoy of flick. All around us people were laughing and giggling and munching their popcorn while Trent and I held hands tightly and stared soberly at the screen. I came home and logged online almost immediately, looking to find other people with similar reactions... But everywhere I've gone I've heard "So Cute! Take the whole family!!" So... Well. Maybe I just needed to cry. I don't know.

Bones?

It's been awhile. There've been more things going on in my world than I even begin to know where to start... It's been good and bad and wonderful and painful and everything in between. I laughed, I cried, I fell down. It changed my life. I'm also engaged.

And I think I'm back. Moving slowly but going forward all the time.

The slow, painful persuit of wisdom...

Fri, 30 May 2008 04:32:28 GMT

Here is something I have known in the past but only recently learned: If someone is talking about me, if someone is gossiping or complaining about things they don't like about me... I don't want to know. I don't need to know. Unless they're plotting my demise, there's nothing about the situation I need to know. All it'll do is hurt me to know that so-and-so hates the way I dress or who I'm friends with or thinks less of me because of how I choose to live my life.

That's all.

A World Like My Own #261 - Such A Delicate Flower

Fri, 30 May 2008 04:14:57 GMT

http://www.aworldlikemyown.com

Busy, busy, busy boys and girls. ^_^ I moved into a new place, much closer to work and significantly closer to Trent. It's nice but all the moving was stressful and I cheesed out. No backgrounds for you. :(

... That boy...

Thu, 29 May 2008 04:31:26 GMT

We were driving to Durham separately, I with my GPS and Trent following me, but I needed to get gas so I pulled into a station and climbed out of my car. Trent followed me on in, pulling his his truck up along side of me. I was intent on pumping my gas so I didn't pay much attention until I heard, loudly behind me:

"Shoooie gir'! You sho is purty! What ch'ya name?"

Every single person in the gas station turned to look and stare at me as I whirled around to find Trent leaning out of the window of his truck, beaming cherubically over at me.

That boy, ladies and gentlemen, is a -nut-.

Hmm...

Thu, 22 May 2008 12:37:16 GMT

There is no problem that can't be fixed by eating all of my coworker's Pocky.

Hmm, hmm.

Wed, 21 May 2008 05:26:06 GMT

Ladies and Gentlemen, I love Trent. There are a number of reasons I love that man but I'm going to illustrate a couple of them for you, to get me in the right mood to go sleep before work. ^_^

I'm both lazy -and- absent minded which 'causes me a number of problems. The most obvious issue is that I'll do things like buy a fountain drink... drink it... and then set it down somewhere and promptly forget about it. Everytime I pass by it my brain will fail to see it. I'll only notice the damn thing when it next complicates my life - by, like, being in the cup holder where I want to put my -new- drink. I sear Trent's running around idly picking up the things I set down and dealing with them because I'm noticing a distinct lack of empty containers in my environment -and- my shoes and keys and things are constantly findable. o.O Since I haven't had any personality-changing head trauma lately, I can only assume this is Trent's doing.

And then; Trent and I like to play a lot and we spend a lot of time fussing at each other. Bouts of playful scuffling for dominance in a situation, teasing each other, poking and pestering and fussing. For the most part it's fun for both of us but every now and then it'll go Far Enough and all of a sudden I'll be annoyed. Don't take this the wrong way, I give far better than I get - he's a much, much nicer person than I am and if either of us is going to walk roughshod across the other, it's going to be me. But the other day it went Far Enough and all of a sudden I was annoyed. Not at him, just at the situation. So we broke and went to our separate corners - he on the computer to play Nethack and I sitting on the bed with my art supplies.

But it's me so I had to poke the situation repeatedly. "It's not that I'm angry at you..." I said, tentatively.
"I've never been angry at you." he replied.
"It's just like we do something and then we cross the line but it doesn't stop right away. We carry this on just a little too long sometimes." I said and he made a reasonably agreeable noise.
"We've got to figure this out," I said. "I don't want to spend the next sixty years getting irritated at you regularly." And again, he made an agreeable noise while I poked at my art supplies.
After a few minutes I said, "Hey, Trent. Do we do this more often when I'm PMSing?"
"Yes." he said, quite shortly.
"Oh. Oh! ... Why didn't you point that out?"
"Well because it's not the sort of thing that's nice to say."

^_^ I dunno, boys and girls.

A Riding We Will Go! ^_^

Mon, 19 May 2008 18:36:40 GMT

This past weekend, Trent and I packed our bags and headed back to his parents place where we were swept up on a several hour long trail ride. ^_^ It was awesome and since I took my camera and made the mistake of letting Trent hold onto it... There are many, many pictures. Here are some of them. ^_^

Here's me wiping down Sterling, the chubby little monster they've had me riding, the last couple times I've been out to their place. Despite appearances (and an inclination to roll in the dirt and mud), he's a real sweet horse. Bouncy little monster, he likes to run and he -really- likes to jump and at the end of the day when all the other horses are getting tired, he's just getting into his stride.

And here we go, heading out on the trail. That chubby horse is busy trying to eat all the trees, while I'm busy making faces at Trent.

Behind me is Trent's father, making sure I don't fall off the horse or something.

And here's Trent, trying to kiss me in public. But! My trusty camera defeats his attempts, muahaha!

And here's a good pictures of Cliff, Trent's father, riding a pretty little thing named Sapphire. You can't tell from the picture but that horse has the prettiest face I've ever seen

Is he still taking pictures? Yeah, he's still taking pictures.

And here's me, pretending like I can steer the horse, while the horse cheerfully ignores me and takes his own path.

And what's a trail ride without a break for lunch? I make like a chipmunk with my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Some people like to ride really big horses.

Really, -really- big horses. She calls him Gordy because he's a pig, but he's such a sweetheart.

Here's Trent and his father, looking handsome together...

And then all of us together... And the rest of the riders leave us behind. xD

And here's Trent's horse eating me...

'Cause I'm just so delicious? xD It tickles!

Trent takes... waaaaay too many pictures. That man can't be trusted with a camera.

But he looks damn good on that horse! ^_^

A World Like My Own #259 - The Warehouse

Fri, 16 May 2008 05:55:54 GMT

http://www.aworldlikemyown.com

You might notice today's comic looks a bit different... I lettered it with a font created from my own handwriting - what do you think? I'm not sure it's right yet, I've got to keep tinkering with it, but I'm pretty pleased with the idea. ^_^

And, yeah, we're firmly on the Monday and Friday schedule. For now. :/ But this was the first comic I've gotten done early since I started dating Trent. ^_^;; Hopefully we'll spend the next couple months updating twice a week and building that buffer back up.

In other news, I'm going to be at Animazement in Durham, North Carolina next week. :O

A World Like My Own #257 - Filler Art

Mon, 12 May 2008 08:25:26 GMT

http://www.aworldlikemyown.com/

Well! The convention went quite well, all things considered. The guys running it were awesome. I saw them many times during the day, checking to see if I was okay and asking after my sales. It was a small con and I barely sold enough random stuff to pay for my gas money to get there and back... But it was awesome, despite that. ^_^ I met a few people running other conventions and made some loose plans to attend a couple more small events... I sold all of my comic booklets, which was pretty awesome. It was different from the venues I'm used to attending, where the focus is more on running around, playing, attending panels - the attendees I met were a lot more business like and intent on performing comic raids (which are like panty raids but with less lace and more paper cuts). It was very much a comic book convention, I think there were more dealers selling stacks of books than there were artists. That's why my booklets were so popular. So next time I need to make many, many more booklets and different booklets (each a collection of a story-arc, I think). And I should also set up to sell sketches, that's what most of the other artists were focusing on, rather than merchandise. So it was a pretty good learning experience and I had a good time. ^_^ I'm definitely planning on attending their future dates and setting up my little booth some more. Meanwhile, I'm bushed off my feet so there's filler art for now. I really like this drawing but I'm not sure why.

But, -why-?

Thu, 08 May 2008 00:20:54 GMT

Trent: Let's go see Iron Man tonight!
Arie: Noo.. we should stay home and have lots of sex. :D
Trent: Why?

True story, boys and girls.

Making these lists just makes me feel tired.

Wed, 07 May 2008 03:52:10 GMT

Things to do before the convention:

Draw Comic for Friday
~~Paint Horns~~
~~Print Prints~~
Work two 8-10 hour shifts
Drive 4 hours to Trent's
Sleep?

Blehhhh.

A World Like My Own #257 - Charlotte ComiCon, May 10th

Tue, 06 May 2008 09:42:57 GMT

http://www.aworldlikemyown.com

Well! ^_^ Like the comic says, I'm going to be at the Charlotte ComiCon this Saturday with some indy comics and prints and buttons and horns to sell. ^_^ If you're a fan of the comic and ready for your DOOM shirt (or you just wanna come say Hi or threaten Trent with unending Doom should he break my heart...) come on by! ^_^ I'll be real happy to see you.

In other news... Eesh. Life is hectic boys and girls and I've been failing miserably at keeping up with my update schedule. I just got a new job (more hours for less pay but it's a lot of fun) for the summer and I have a steady boyfriend... There's a lot going on that's changing my life around right now and I just haven't been able to keep up. Sooo. As much as I hate to do this, I'm going to take the comic down to two updates a week, Monday and Friday. I'm so sorry. This is only a temporary set back, probably for the summer. Come September, with a little luck, everything will be much improved and back to the way it's supposed to be. Wish me luck and please stick with me for now. <3

Did you get the number of the truck that hit me?

Tue, 06 May 2008 05:44:12 GMT

I've got a minor depression that's hanging on my shoulders for reasons that will become clear in the next couple days... so in an attempt to cheer myself up enough to get to work, I'm going to tell you a funny story from this weekend. ^_^

Trent and I headed to the grocery store to pick up some tasty munchies for dinner but, unfortunately for Trent, I'd just stocked up on comics from Free Comic Book Day (woot, woot!).

"You're bringing your book in the store?!" He asked, somewhat dismayed.
"... Well, -yeah-."

So we wandered around the store and made our purchases, whilst I read my comic book and when we reached the check out, I handed the book over to work the credit card machine. Once I was done I turned to retrieve my book and... discovered it was no where on his person.

"Where's my book?!" I cried.
"What, what? I don't know what you're talking about..." said my boyfriend. "I don't have your book."

I made some swipes at him, to see if he was hiding it behind him or under his shirt and couldn't find it... I was rolling up my sleeves and preparing to conduct a more thorough investigation - in the middle of the grocery store - when my roguish fellow grabbed our bags and took off running.

".. :O!!" I cried, as I started after him. "Give me back my book!"

Unfortunately for the boy... He was running quite fast... And, you see, the door decided not to open for him... And... He was running quite fast.

He hit it dead on, nose first. The door shook and opened a couple inches. He threw a dismayed look back at me and squirmed through, running the rest of the way to the car. I followed at a slightly more sedate pace, laughing my ass off as we tucked the groceries into the backseat.

"My nose hurts..." he complained, handing over my comic book.

Next time, maybe he won't try to come between me and my comics. ;P

Con Merchandise

Fri, 02 May 2008 22:17:24 GMT

Sorting through my merchandise is really depressing. I can't for the life of me see people actually paying money for this -junk-. >_< I start feeling really down and low, thinking about how shabby I'm going to look next to all the other artists, with their actual skills and flashy colour work. But Jennie started out even smaller than I am. I can do this... right?

Anyway. Everyone tell me the comic's worthwhile and not just a never-ending sink for all my time and money. ^_^

Inventory:    Doom Shirts: XL - 6 L - 3 M - 1
    Going To Con Books: 6 (+1 no cover)
    Horns: 6 pair
    Buttons:
       Angel Boy: 10
       Devil Girl: 10
        Merfle: 11
        Doom: 12
        Arienna: 15
        Wink: 10
        Butterfly: 11
    Fliers: Plenty
    Posters: 1 Blue w/ Beer, 2 Got Horns, Enough Devil-Angel Embraces

A World Like My Own #256 - You're Hired

Fri, 02 May 2008 08:43:49 GMT

http://www.aworldlikemyown.com

Hurrah, it's a comic. And I've got a couple days in a row off from work to get the next one done... But Trent's coming over so everyone cross your fingers and thing productive thoughts for me. ^_~ Also, my boss is seriously hot. In a tall, red-headed geek girl way.

This Weekend

Thu, 01 May 2008 06:09:22 GMT

We've worked out a compromise. I dearly wanted to see him (do you realize we haven't be apart for more than 4 days since we started dating? With a four hour drive between us, boys and girls, that is a serious commitment) but I have a million things to do and if I don't get them done I'm going to slowly get very, very cranky. So I talked to the fellow and he offered to come up again. ^_^ He's a sweet fellow. <3 So we'll be able to see each other without wrecking our streak. But the problem is since we started, neither of us has been able to get a damn thing done when we're together. Heck, even when we're apart we wind up spending all day and all evening, talking to each other. Sad, sad state of affairs.

So here's what we're going to do: He's going to come up after work on Friday and we're each going to make a to-do list of things we have to get done. If We manage to get them all done, he can stay for all his days off because he'll have gotten his homework and studying and all that taken care of and I'll have gotten my chores tended to as well. But if by Saturday evening we haven't gotten anything done then he has to go home so we can both work. It's... a version of responsibility, I suppose. ^_^

So, my to do list:

Draw Comic
~~Pack winter clothes up~~
~~Inventory Con Merch~~
Decide on Prints
Stitch tablecloth
Snuggle Trent

A World Like My Own #255 - Summer Job

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 06:44:49 GMT

http://www.aworldlikemyown.com

Voila, a comic. And, would you believe it, a comic that doesn't star Trent? Who'd have thought it? ^_^; Yeesh but I've been busy, boys and girls. All sorts of running around. Like I was telling you, I took Trent up to meet my parents... and then the next weekend we went down to meet his. >_< I swear the last week and a half is just one long blur of nervousness and lack of productivity. But everything went well, no one died, nothing exploded, and I'm seriously playing with the idea of skipping our weekend get-together this weekend to get some work and art done.

Hmm. Hmm. The boy or art and cleaning? Hmm, hmm!

A World Like My Own #254 - Sweet Dreams

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 07:19:49 GMT

http://www.aworldlikemyown.com

And now you all know why the updates have been late these days. ^_~ Thanks to all of you who wished me luck meeting Trent's parents today. I've been getting a bit jittery over it... 10 hours until I meet them, yeek!

I'm still trying new things with the comic. New and time-consuming things. We're growing everyday, boys and girls, in spits and spurts and not always successfully... But still. ^_^

A World Like My Own #251 - Larp - Morning Chipperness

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:15:29 GMT

http://www.aworldlikemyown.com

He really did this, boys and girls. Trent was elected the Alarm Clock for our little cabin last month, which led to this cute blonde boy bouncing all over the cabin going "WAKE UP! It's almost 8 am! Wake up! Hey, hey Derek guess what?! I got to visit the dark elven undercity! Nyaa, Nyaa! Wake up!"

... I kinda like him. ^_~

In other news I have another convention coming up and shucks if I aren't broke. o/ In the interests of getting merchandise made without cutting into my dinner and art supply budget (priorities, I'm telling you), I thought I'd do a little fund raiser raffle. :D For $1 (through paypal) you can win your very own DOOM shirt! :D Available in your choice of M, L, or XL. Multiple entries totally welcome, the raffle will run until May 9th when I'll announce the winner as I'm packing my bags for the convention. ^_^ And If anyone wants a DOOM shirt and doesn't want to be bothered with raffles (*wink, wink, nudge, nudge*), they're $15 plus shipping.

Omg, so cute!

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 04:14:22 GMT

Gas prices are rising and I'm driving more and -more- with time... to the boyfriends, to conventions, to work, to larping... A person starts counting up the math and realizes a motorcycle would pay for itself in in gas savings in, like, 2 years. 3, tops. And while I'm thinking wistfully of a little blue bike, my friend announces he's moving to Cali and needs to sell his bikes.

http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcy/646457425.html

http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcy/646501019.html

Zut alors! His motorcycle is probably too big for me.... but someone buy me that cute little blue scooter so I can ride it to work. :D I've been -extra- good this year.

A World Like My Own #250 - Larp - The Three Stages of Larping

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:46:19 GMT

http://www.aworldlikemyown.com

Whoa, 250 comics today. :D

By the way, boys and girls, never EVER announce that you're bored within earshot of an NPC. It's like the incantation for a Summon Instant Misfortune Upon Caster spell. :D Depending on your NPC Camp's sense of humor. And by 3 am, all of our NPCs tend to be channel De Sade's style of comedy.

Damn Rogues!

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 06:25:26 GMT

We were having a... discussion... over our morning ablutions. I wanted to take a bath, alone, and the gentleman wanted to share a shower. Normally I would be all for sharing a shower with Trent but I was tired and cranky and not feeling well and I really wanted to take a good hot bath to soothe my ickies, and then to head to work at the Ren Faire. We discussed these options for a few moments until I ended the discussion by inviting him to go shower downstairs and heading into the bathroom and locking the door behind me.

I'd just drawn my bath and was settling into it, snickering smugly to myself at the solitary luxury... when Trent strolled quite casually through the door. I squeaked and gaped up at him, hiding behind my book. He nodded to me, turned to the sink to wash his face, and then turned to stroll out again.

"... I'd meant to lock that." I said.
"Oh, you did!" chirped my boyfriend. "But I thought that surely couldn't be right."

... My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen, is a Verra-be-damned lock-picking -rogue-.

A World Like My Own #249 - A Wonderful Opportunity

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 10:03:10 GMT

http://www.aworldlikemyown.com

Voila! A comic. It's important to remember, when wandering into a town full of adventurers, that very few of them actually have your best interests at heart. ^_~

A World Like My Own #248 - Distractions

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 07:15:38 GMT

www.aworldlikemyown.com

Hoo man, boys and girls, things have been really hectic around here. I have gotten almost nothing useful done, no art, ignored my social and other obligations... And otherwise run around like a hyper-active kitten having a wonderful time. ^_^

But I'm coming back up for air now and ready to be a mature, responsible comic artist again.

No. Really. Stop laughing.